First-Time House Builder
Some men in a pickup truck drove into a lumberyard. One of the men walked in the office and said, "We need some four-by-twos."
The clerk asked, "You mean two-by-fours, don't you?"
The man said, "I'll go check," and went back to the truck.
He returned and said, "Yeah, I meant two-by-four."
"All right. How long do you need them?"
The customer paused for a minute and said, "I'd better go check."
After a while, the customer returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're gonna build a house."

Dumb Plumbers
There were two plumbers sitting at a bar one day. They ordered their drinks and sat at the bar for a while. Suddenly, they both stood up, slapped hands, and yelled, "Fifty-five!" The bartender was pretty confused but just decided to ignore them.
About five or ten minutes later, they both stood up again, slapped hands, and yelled, "Fifty-five!" Again the bartender just decided to ignore them.
Ten minutes later they followed the same routine. By now the bartender was getting pretty annoyed, so he went over and asked, "Why do you guys keep standing up and yelling fifty-five?"
One of the plumbers said, "Well, we stopped at Toys R Us on the way here and got a puzzle. On the side of the box it said 2 to 4 years, but we got it done in fifty-five minutes!"