Old Doc

My wife & I were expecting our first child while we were stationed in Corpus Christi, TX. We were at our first OB/GYN exam with an old crusty Doc that was probably delivering babies in the Alamo. Nice guy, but seen it all, heard it all a million times. I was stuttering around searching for the right words to ask when we "should stop....you know.....relations?"

The Doc's answer was priceless, "Sonny, as long as you don't get in my way in the delivery room, I don't care!"

Domestic fight

A married man left work early one Friday afternoon. Instead of going home, he squandered the weekend and his paycheck partying with the boys, never calling his wife.

When he finally returned home on Sunday night, he ran into a furious wife. After a couple of hours of yelling and screaming his wife asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for a couple of days?"

He responded, "That would suit me just fine!"

So, Monday went by, and the man didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same result. By Thursday, the swelling went down enough so that he could see her a little... just out of the corner of his left eye.